Twinkie Aged for 10 Years

I have my doubts about making a Twinkie Aged for 10 Years in the hopes that it will turn into liquor. Mostly because if this article is to be believed a 40-year-old Twinkie looks pretty similar to a one month old Twinkie. Plus, in “making” this drink I have already managed to debunk a completely different Twinkie related Simpsons urban legend…

Customer: This is what I think of your store!
Apu: Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie!
– Homer and Apu (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 13)

Turns out you CAN harm a Twinkie and it’s actually really easy to do. So much so that my first attempt at scrunching up a Twinkie like the disgruntled customer resulted in the packaging popping open. A quite large mess ensued following that little experiment. I was a little gentler on my second scrunching attempt and here are the results:

So, first of all you can, in fact, hurt a Twinkie and it’s actually really easy. Despite this new found knowledge, I’ve decided to go ahead with the aging process for now. I purchased my “turning into liquor” testing Twinkie on May 26, 2016. According to the box this Twinkie will expire on July 2, 2016.

So far so good! I’ll update in a few months (or more likely years?) to see if anything has changed. Or maybe I’ll just get bored and throw it in a blender with some alcohol. That’s worked for me in the past anyway.