Twinkie Aged for 10 Years


Twinkie-Aged-for-10-Years-Screenshot

Marge: We finally have something to put in the wall safe. Hostess Twinkies?
Homer: I heard if you age them for ten years they turn to liquor.
– Milhouse Doesn’t Live Here Anymore 

The Simpsons | Season 15 - Episode 12

I have my doubts about making a Twinkie Aged for 10 Years in the hopes that it will turn into liquor. Mostly because if this article is to be believed a 40-year-old Twinkie looks pretty similar to a one month old Twinkie. Plus, in “making” this drink I have already managed to debunk a completely different Twinkie related Simpsons urban legend…

Customer: This is what I think of your store!
Apu: Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie!
– Homer and Apu (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 13)

Twinkie-Screenshot-1

Turns out you CAN harm a Twinkie and it’s actually really easy to do. So much so that my first attempt at scrunching up a Twinkie like the disgruntled customer resulted in the packaging popping open. A quite large mess ensued following that little experiment. I was a little gentler on my second scrunching attempt and here are the results:

Twinkie-Aged-for-10-Years-Year1

So, first of all you can, in fact, hurt a Twinkie and it’s actually really easy. Despite this new found knowledge, I’ve decided to go ahead with the aging process for now. I purchased my “turning into liquor” testing Twinkie on May 26, 2016. According to the box this Twinkie will expire on July 2, 2016.

Twinkie-Box

So far so good! I’ll update in a few months (or more likely years?) to see if anything has changed. Or maybe I’ll just get bored and throw it in a blender with some alcohol. That’s worked for me in the past anyway.

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Yucabi

What happened?

Jay

HOW SOON