Twinkie Aged for One Year…Plus Several Months


Marge: We finally have something to put in the wall safe. Hostess Twinkies?
Homer: I heard if you age them for ten years they turn to liquor.
– Milhouse Doesn’t Live Here Anymore 

The Simpsons | Season 15 - Episode 12

That’s right, I didn’t throw the Twinkie away! Instead it’s been living in the back of my closet for over a year and the results speak for themselves:

I realize the Twinkie looks exactly the same, but it doesn’t FEEL exactly the same. It’s gotten a little firmer, like it’s slowly drying out. Of course, this means that it’s doing the opposite of turning to liquor but that won’t deter me, mostly because I have barely put any effort into this experiment in the first place. So I guess what I’m saying is that I will check up on the Twinkie again in another year or so to see if anything has changed.

…unless that triumvirate of Twinkies overwhelm my resolve. Then I don’t know what I’ll do.

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Kubjax
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Kubjax

I’ve marked it down on my calendar, I’ll be back here in a year…

Eatslikeaduck
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Be prepared for amazement and horror! Or more likely mild interest in the fact that the Twinkie will probably look pretty much the same.

teightytwo
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Oh I totally forgot about the twinkie! Will you drink the dry, stale filling with a straw?

Eatslikeaduck
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That’s the plan! Since the Twinkie is getting more stale by the day I’m not sure how drinkable it will be though…

Patrick Ehland
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Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie!

Eatslikeaduck
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Sadly you can, they’re a lot more destructible then you might think.

Josh
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Josh

How do you think that would taste if someone ate it?

Eatslikeaduck
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Probably very stale and very dry. I know there are rumors about Twinkies lasting past the apocalypse but based on my limited research I don’t think that will be the case.