Window to Weight Gain – The Fish Sandwich
Dr. Nick: And remember, if you’re not sure about something rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it’s your window to weight gain. Bye-bye, everybody!
– King-Size Homer
The Simpsons | Season 7 - Episode 7
Homer: I don’t know. Fish sandwich. Are you sure?
– King-Size Homer (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 7)
The fish sandwich is often the most ignored menu item at fast food restaurants. In many western countries it’s popular during Lent and that’s about it. And by popular during Lent, I mean some people eat it because they aren’t allowed to eat a more delicious animal during the time of year. Homer questions the fish sandwich, not because he thinks it will taste bad, but because it might not provide enough weight gaining properties to be worth the effort.
Bart proves the fish sandwich passes the “Window” test by rubbing it against a piece of paper (in this case, the wallpaper of a Krusty Burger). But would a real fish sandwich achieve the same results? Being the world’s foremost Simpsons food blogger (it’s a thing!), I decided to test out whether this would work in real life by eating a Filet-O-Fish sandwich from McDonald’s.
The Filet-O-Fish comes in a box, not in a wrapper, so already I was at a disadvantage to rub it against any paper.
Taking it out of the box, it felt decidedly un-greasy, but I tried rubbing it against the paper anyway. It didn’t work…
I ate the Filet-O-Fish anyway – it’s been at least decade since I last had one. I have to say, this was a surprisingly well put together sandwich. That’s probably because I ordered it around 3pm on a Tuesday and they had to make it fresh. Even the woman working the drive thru seemed kind of confused that I had ordered it.
Here’s what I’ve never understood: why does the Filet-O-Fish include cheese? It’s such a weird element to add that doesn’t really work for me. The good news (from a weight gain standpoint) is that the cheese makes the sandwich even more unhealthy. At 380 calories and 20 grams of fat, it might not cause paper to rub clear, but it’s still helping me on my Window To Weight Gain!
Cromulence: 7 Jugglers Despairs out of 10
The Fish Sandwich From: King-Size Homer (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 7)
Are you dangerously underweight? Trying to go on workplace disability? Well, fret no more as we take you on a five part series covering all the do and do not do’s on your Window to Weight Gain! Parts one, two, three, five