Bart: Eat around the banana, Dad. It’s just empty vitamins.
– King-Size Homer

The Simpsons | Season 7 - Episode 7

And now we come to the end of our Window to Weight Gain series. And what a long, strange, fattening journey it’s been! By now you should be eating Pop Tart sandwiches for lunch and be gorging on entire containers of Chubbb while watching tv. However, there were a few items that I’ve bunched together in the interest of not stretching this thing out any farther than it already is.

Fitness Store Salesman: Lucky for you, this stuff doesn’t work.

Bart: Bad news, dad. We’re out of food. We’re even out of the basic elements of food. You ate all the tarragon and drank all the soy sauce.

Homer: Ah, honey. That looks just like a real doughnut.
Bart: Dad, it says non-toxic.
Homer: Well, that’s a plus.

My order of preference with these remaining food options are:

• Banana-Free Banana Split
• Massive Weight Gain Powder
• Non-toxic Doughnut
• Tarragon and Soy Sauce

Basically, I’d rather quickly maw down a Play-Doh doughnut then drink an entire bottle of soy sauce. I’m pretty sure that much sodium would kill me (yes it will), but the doughnut is non-toxic so I should be good to go. I’m pretty sure kids eat Play-Doh all the time so that just seems like the safer choice.

And The Rest From: King-Size Homer (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 7)

Are you dangerously underweight? Trying to go on workplace disability? Well, fret no more as we take you on a five part series covering all the do and do not do’s on your Window to Weight Gain! Parts one, two, three, four