The Grand Pumpkin Foods

Yes, yes, I realize it is November 3. If The Simpsons can air Halloween episodes in November then I can post a Halloween recipe in November. Over the seasons the Treehouse of Horrors have gone down in quality, but The Grand Pumpkin is one of the better characters to be introduced – I mean, who doesn’t appreciate some good old fashioned pumpkin racism? The Grand Pumpkin doesn’t tolerate eating his own kind, assuming they are orange pumpkins of course. So let’s go ahead and make a bunch of food out of his extended family!

Grand Pumpkin: Everywhere I look– pumpkin atrocities!
Groundskeeper Willie: Care for a pumpkin seed?
Grand Pumpkin: You roast the unborn?



Pumpkin Bread

  • 2 cups flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon ground cloves
  • 1.5 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • Dash of salt
  • 2 cups sugar
  • 3/4 cup butter
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 Can of 100% Pumpkin

Pumpkin Seeds

  • Pumpkin Seeds
  • Oil (I used butter)
  • Salt (to taste)


Pumpkin Bread

Preheat oven to 350F. Combine all dry ingredients (except sugar) and set aside. Cream butter in a stand mixer until soft and slowly add sugar. Next add eggs, one at a time until combined. Finally, add canned pumpkin and mix together before adding in dry ingredients. Slowly add dry ingredients until the batter is well mixed. Pour into two 8×4 inch pans and bake for 60-70 minutes.


Pumpkin Seeds

When preparing pumpkin seeds it’s important to separate all the pumpkin guts from the seeds, then rinse them thoroughly. Next you need to dry them out completely before roasting, which means you will have to play the waiting game…oh the waiting game sucks, let’s play Hungry, Hungry Hippos! Ideally you will let your seeds dry out for at least a few hours to overnight. The extra time is worth it as they will roast up so much better this way. Toss dried pumpkin seeds lightly in oil with salt; then roast seeds at 300F for approximately 45 minutes or until they are nice and crispy.


I never realized how amazing pumpkin bread is. It tastes a lot like pumpkin pie without all the annoying pie crust and it is also an acceptable thing to eat for breakfast. Whenever I eat pie first thing in the morning I keep hearing about how dangerous my cholesterol is. Everyone has their own variation on making pumpkin seeds, but my method has been tried and true over the years and so I rarely deviate much from the instructions above. The key is to dry out the seeds because then they will turn out more crunchy and less chewy. Who knew eating unborn pumpkins could be so delicious!

Oh and I tried to carve a pumpkin that looked somewhat like The Grand Pumpkin (on the left) but results were so-so. Of course the real star of this pumpkin carving contest comes from El Boyfriendo and his superior skills, which really makes me angry. I mean, why should the race always be to the swift, or the jumble to the quick-witted? Should they be allowed to win merely because of the gifts God gave them? Well I say, cheating is the gift man gives himself. And by that I mean that next year I am sabotaging his pumpkin so it looks uglier than mine.


Cromulence: Pumpkin Bread and Pumpkin Seeds 9 Pumpkin segregation forever! out of 10

The Grand Pumpkin Foods Recipe From: Treehouse of Horror XIX (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 4)






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