No Fuss, No Muss: Cactus Candy


Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy.
Homer: Look, John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all. Just stay the hell away from my family!
John: Well, now you don’t get any candy. No, that’s cruel. Take a teensy piece.
– Homer’s Phobia

The Simpsons | Season 8 - Episode 15

I had never heard of Cactus Candy before seeing this Simpsons episode. At first, I actually thought it some kind of “gay” joke. But then, I found some of this fabled confection while visiting the magical land called Arizona. Imagine my frustration though, when I bought some of this candy and it didn’t look anything like the candy that John is offering Homer!

Outside Box


Inside Box


A quick image search shows that cactus candy is available in green too. So where are the green pieces in my box?? I’m left to wonder if the episodes Cactus Candy was supposed to be “festive” like John is. Or perhaps the show writers just didn’t know what this stuff actually looks like? Or perhaps, more accurately, the show animators didn’t know. Maybe they just collectively decided:”well, cacti are green, so let’s make the candy green” and walked away.

Of course, that still doesn’t explain the several pieces of pink candy that are included in the box either… Basically, this whole thing is way more complicated then it needs to be and now I just want some sugar. The candy itself tastes fine, kind of like chewy cactus minus the prickles…I assume. Having never actually eaten a cactus I can’t say this is totally accurate one way or another. Zap! Zap!

Cromulence: 5 Banned Pogo Stilts out of 10

No Fuss, No Muss: Cactus Candy From: Homer’s Phobia (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 15)

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