Milhouse’s Vaseline on Toast
Lisa: Please don’t ruin this for me, Bart. I think he’s starting to like me.
Bart: Milhouse likes you.
Lisa: Oh please! Milhouse like Vaseline on toast!
– Lisa’s Date With Density
The Simpsons | Season 8 - Episode 7
First of all, I love that Bart is oddly intrigued at the idea of Milhouse’s Vaseline on Toast! Perhaps it runs in the family? One of the longest running jokes on The Simpsons is that Homer will eat basically anything. In fact, I can name two other instances where he specifically eats a Petroleum based product.
Lisa the Beauty Queen – Handfuls of Petroleum Jelly:
Don’t Fear the Roofer – Rubber mouth guard covered in Vaseline:
But this is a time where a gross petroleum recipe doesn’t involve Homer at all, but instead that lovable class coward Milhouse. How exactly did Milhouse discover this “recipe”? Can his parents not afford butter and/or margarine? Or did he just decide to experiment with things in the medicine cabinet one day and the rest is history?
Place bread in toaster and toast to your desired toasting level. Spread Vaseline evenly on toast.
While this was no Clove Tom Collins Pie, it was also not a pleasant tasting experience – basically a super synthetic tasting oily product slathered on toast. I like to eat my toast straight from the toaster and butter it right away, so I did the same with the Vaseline. It melted almost immediately and looked very similar to butter as you can see in the picture above. I tell you this purely for informative reasons and not as a suggestion on pranking someone into eating disgusting toast. Because that would be wrong.
Cromulence: 2 1979 Honda Accords out of 10
Milhouse’s Vaseline on Toast Recipe From: Lisa’s Date With Density (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 7)