Gummi Venus de Milo
Homer: Ooh, gummibears. Gummi calves’ heads. Gummi jaw breakers. What’s that?
Gummi Artisan: That is the rarest Gummi of them all. The Gummi Venus de Milo. Carved by Gummi artisans who work exclusively in the medium of Gummi.
Marge: Will you two stop saying Gummi so much?
– Homer Badman
The Simpsons | Season 6 - Episode 9
Although I’ve been studying for years, I’m still not a true gummi artisan, only a gelatin. So it was with great shame that I ordered a Venus de Milo candle mold online. I figured if you could use the mold for wax, why not for the Gummi Venus de Milo? Sadly, the $7.49 plus shipping that I spent on this thing were the least of my worries. I went half mad trying to create this precious Venus and by the end my kitchen looked like some sort of explosion of green gummi, duct tape, and paper towels.
- 1 packets Green Jell-O
- 6 tablespoons of Gelatin
Honestly, Wikihow does a way better job of explaining this than me.
Shockingly, an instructional guide online made this process look much easier than it actually was! I think part of the problem came from my aformentioned candle mold:
You might notice this mold is in two pieces. Of course, you’ve got to take the mold apart when the candle wax (or in this case gummi) has set to get at her sweet, sweet can. The problem is that the kit doesn’t actually snap into place, nor is it even remotely watertight. Since I haven’t used the mold to make a candle, I can’t comment on how well it works for it’s intended purpose. But I think you would honestly just get candle wax everywhere. I certainly got gummi mix everywhere!
Attempt One: I naively held the two Venus mold pieces together thinking they would magically hold in place as I poured in the gummi liquid. No dice.
Attempt Two: Duct taped the hell out of the entire Venus mold. Tested it to make sure that water wouldn’t escape. Things were looking up. Realized that by filling the mold I would not be able to make the entire thing flush and so the Gummi Venus wouldn’t have enough liquid to fill up to the head.
Attempt Three: Placed the mold on a plate and carefully, carefully poured the gummi mixture in. Realized I still needed to get this in the fridge and spilled it everywhere as I carried it over. The Venus’ boob pieces on the mold were sliding all over the plate which was causing the liquid to spill.
Attempt Four: Duct taped the hell out of the plate AND the Venus mold so that it remained on the plate without liquid spilling. Placed the plate in the fridge, THEN poured the liquid in. Walked away and prayed to Aphrodite that this time it would work. It worked!
I almost pulled the head off while getting the precious Venus out of the mold but managed to keep everything in place long enough to take a picture. Oh and it tasted like green Jell-O with a gummi consistency. Totally worth it.
Cromulence: 5 Gentle Bens out of 10
Gummi Venus de Milo Recipe From: Homer Badman (The Simpsons Season 6 – Episode 9)