This is the last menu item on the “Todays Specials” board from Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag. Unlike the Flestaritos or Ranchy Wingy-Thingys, we actually get a brief glimpse of what Amtrak Style Hot Dogs look like. They appear to look like hot dogs, fascinating! Back when I was in school, I used to work summers at an establishment that sold hot dogs in one of those spinning hot dog machines. The Kwik-E-Mart has a few variations:
First the hot dogs are “strictly ornamental”…
But later the hot dogs ARE for eating, except without the grease so you can really taste the hog anus…
It seems pretty likely that Amtrak would prepare to display their hot dogs in a similar fashion. So I needed to cook the hot dogs and then let them sit in their own juices for about 24 hours to replicate what I assume the Amtrak process is. Since I didn’t want my house stinking of hot dog for weeks, I decided to just boil the wieners for about an hour. I also left the hot dog buns out for a few hours ahead of time to try and get them tasting stale, but not too stale.
- Hot Dog
- Hot Dog Bun
Cook hot dogs for approximately one hour so they start to taste rubbery, but make sure they stay warm. Serve on a bun that is not quite so stale that you’re willing to complain about it to the Amtrak employee who sold it to you. Ketchup and mustard are optional.
These tasted a little gross, but were still edible so I consider that a success. I have actually traveled via Amtrak before, but I can’t remember if they served hot dogs or not. Basically, the food was utterly forgettable but I also didn’t get sick from eating it so I guess that’s a win overall.
Cromulence: 4 Sodie Pops out of 10
Amtrak Style Hot Dog Recipe From: Bart Sells His Soul (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 4)