Why is Sweetest Day?
Marge: Ooh! Sugar free donuts.
Apu: No, that is sugar with free donuts.
Marge: Oh. Apu, everything in this store is overloaded with sugar.
Apu: I am sorry, but everything in this store from the honey-glazed cauliflower to the Choco-Blasted Baby Aspirin comes from the Motherloving Sugar Corporation.
– Sweets and Sour Marge
The Simpsons | Season 13 - Episode 8
Sweetest Day is a “holiday” (my quotes) “celebrated in the Midwestern United States, and parts of the Northeastern United States, also in the northern part of Florida on the third Saturday in October.” (Wikipedia’s quote). You might think that this holiday was recently invetended in a similar fashion to perhaps Love Day. And before you get mad at me for ruining another Love Day, I will point out that Sweetest Day has actually been around since 1922.
However, Sweetest Day WAS 100% invented by a bunch of candy manufacturers way back in 1922. Cynical people (like me) will say that this holiday was basically invented as a way to sell candy – which it was. However, even more cynical people (also like me) will point out that other holidays that weren’t invented by cold hearted industrialists are still utilized to sell all candy and Lord Huggington.
Either way, Sweetest Day is about sweet things and I’ve also had a bunch of items from Sweets and Sour Marge to talk about so let’s get into this, shall we? First up honey-glazed cauliflower. Please note, I didn’t make the Choco-Blasted Baby Aspirin because I really don’t want to cover medicine in chocolate ok? I draw the line at mixing my meds with alcohol.
For this “recipe” I coated a cauliflower in honey and baked in the oven for about 25 minutes. And I have to say, honey-glazed cauliflower is surprisingly tasty, I actually ate the whole thing. I wouldn’t make it again, because really why would anyone?
Cromulence: 6 Dia-Bettys out of 10
Marge: Mmm… You kids do eat a lot of sugar. But at least Homer can have a nice, healthy grapefruit.
Homer: Yeah. You can’t improve on nature.
Grapefruit is terrible, there I said it. Even with a ton of sugar on top I could still barely eat this. Sometimes Homer does have the right idea on the correct way to consume food and coating a grapefruit in sugar, liking the sugar off and throwing the rest of the grapefruit away is correct to me.
Cromulence: 2 Dia-Bettys out of 10
Fudge-stuffed Toaster Pies
Bart: Mom, we’re out of Frosting Gobs.
Lisa: Here. Have one of my fudge-stuffed toaster pies.
Chocolate isn’t really my thing, especially at breakfast. Also, I prefer my Pop Tarts as part of a nice, healthy sandwich. Overall, these were more popular with El Boyfriendo (who is still alive by the way) then they were with me. I still can’t believe people feed these things to children in the morning though…
Cromulence: 4 Dia-Bettys out of 10