Questo’s Long Island Iced Tea


Questo: Hello, I’m Questo. I’ll be your waiter and mentalist for this evening. I’m receiving a drink order…something foamy…is it a bee–
Homer: Beer! Yes! How did you know?
Questo: And for the lady: a Longgg Island iced tea.
Marge: Oh, they ought to call that a Large Island iced tea! No, Long is better.
Lisa: Are you really gonna to drink that?
Marge: Well, maybe a sip; I don’t want to offend our mentalist.
Questo: [thinking:] If she doesn’t like it, I’ll just die!
Lisa: Mom, you’re missing a great show!
Marge: You don’t know what I’m missing. I’d like to visit that Long Island place…if only it were real.
– The Great Money Caper

The Simpsons | Season 12 - Episode 7

Unlike Homer, Marge’s drinking is intermittent at best – but surprisingly in this episode she drinks a Long Island Iced Tea on two non-consecutive occasions! It’s no real surprise that this beverage gets Marge drunk, it contains a lot of alcohol.


  • Vodka
  • Gin
  • Rum
  • Triple Sec
  • Tequila
  • Lemon Juice
  • Cola (I used Diet Pepsi)



Add equal parts vodka, gin, rum, triple sec, and tequila into a tall ice-filled glass. I used half a shot of each liquor for my drink; quantities will vary depending on how much you want to visit Long Island. Add a splash of lemon juice and fill the rest of the glass with your cola of choice.


Lisa: I don’t know, Mom, I think they’re up to something.
Marge: Sure looks that way, but at least Bart and Homer are spending quality time together.
Lisa: It that a Long Island iced tea?
Marge: Oh, this? Hmm, I think it is! [drinks it] You’re a pretty girl.
– The Great Money Caper (The Simpsons Season 12 – Episode 7)


This drink is strong, but it doesn’t taste strong. Plus it has the added bonus of including cola so you get a nice little jolt of caffeine along with your alcohol. I can see why this is a popular beverage but it’s also a lot of liquid to drink. After downing a few of these Marge would probably have to go pee about every 10 minutes, not that I know this from personal experience or anything…you pretty girl!

Cromulence: 6 Abra-cablabras out of 10

Questo’s Long Island Iced Tea Recipe From: The Great Money Caper (The Simpsons Season 12 – Episode 7)

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