Nuts and Gum Together at Last!
Lisa: It’s awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Abe: It’s rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I’m a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!
– Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
The Simpsons | Season Five - Episode 14
If you’re a white male, age 18 to 49, you might consider this a good idea: Nuts and Gum – Together at Last! Or you might not, I’m not here to judge white males age 18 to 49, or anyone really. From The Simpsons episode, we’re given no specification on the label about the types of nuts or the types of gum that are used. So I decided to try out a few varieties to see which worked the best, or at least the not worst.
- Nuts: Peanuts, Cashews, Almonds, Macadamias, Walnuts, Pecans
- Gum: Peppermint, Bubblegum and Cinnamon
Combine a handful of nuts with single piece of gum and consume.
My first few bites were extremely confusing. I both wanted to continue chewing and swallow what’s in your mouth. I’m pretty sure I broke my brain a little with this concoction because I just stood there like a slack jawed yokel chewing for 30 seconds, unsure about what to do next. I finally settled on spitting this mess out rather than eating it.
But which is the best of the possible flavor combinations? The Cinnamon and Bubblegum flavors actually weren’t that bad, because the sweetness of the gum worked well in combination with the nuts. The Peppermint gum, however, was actually even worse than I had anticipated. I could only handle chewing on that for a few seconds because the taste was simply too strong. So if I had to, I’d recommend eating any combination of nuts with gum, just as long as it’s not peppermint. That’s only good for making alcoholic beverages.
Cromulence: 1 Dried Onion Meal out of 10
Nuts and Gum Recipe From: Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy (The Simpsons Season Five – Episode 14)