Nachos Flanders Style

I actually like cucumber and cottage cheese, separately. So I figured that combining them would be deliddlyicious. Nachos Flanders Style certainly aren’t the worst thing I’ve ever made; but they also aren’t something I’m in a hurry to make again either. Perhaps it’s because they have such a creepy Pat Boone-ish quality to them?


  • Cucumber
  • Cottage Cheese


Slice cucumbers into bite sized pieces and arrange on a plate. Spoon a small portion of cottage cheese onto each cucumber. Serve immediately.

Optional: Loudly announce you’ve got nachos available for your (or your friends’) kids. Instead, serve Nachos Flanders Style to the kids who will think they’re getting real nachos. Then see how disappointed you can make them in a single, hilarious moment.


Cucumbers usually add a nice crunch to a salad, but as soon as I scooped the runny cottage cheese on top, things got soggy very quickly. I had hoped that adding some salt and pepper would help the taste, which is something I’m sure Ned Flanders would not do for his recipe. While this did help with the flavor a little, it still didn’t help with the consistency issue. If you’re going to make this consume the nachos immediately. Even thought I ate mine right away, and they were still a runny mess.

Before we close out this recipe, if it can so be called, I just want to briefly discuss cottage cheese. It’s basically synonymous with eating healthy. Which is why I can’t understand why anyone buys the 0% variety (or really any dairy in 0%). Just reward yourself for choosing the cottage cheese, in higher fat variety because that tastes significantly better, and move on. You COULD have gone for the “cheeze spread” variety of cheese and had a real party instead.

Cromulence: 3 Vulgate of St. Jeromes out of 10

Nachos Flanders Style Recipe From: Home Sweet Homediddily-Dum-Doodily (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 3)






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Add a Triscuit into the mix.