Monkey’s Paw Turkey Sandwich
Homer: I’ll make a wish that can’t backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, AND I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?
[Turkey sandwich appears]
Homer: Hey! Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey’s a little dry. The turkey’s a little dry! Oh, foul accursed thing! What demon from the depths of hell created thee!
– Treehouse of Horror II
The Simpsons | Season 3 - Episode 7
Besides not asking for dry turkey, Homer also did not ask for tomato on his sandwich. Plus I would assume bacon was extra? And yet there it is, a extra ingredient added by the Monkey’s Paw to the turkey sandwich on rye. I know that Homer didn’t specifically ask for it, but the addition of the tomato would actually be a nice balance to that dry, dry turkey…
I like to think that the Monkey’s Paw knew what it was doing when it made the turkey a little dry. Perhaps zombie turkey would have been a better choice? I’m not sure if zombie turkey meat is inherently more or less dry than regular non-zombie turkey meat. But if anyone knows the answers to these sorts of things it’s a somewhat sentient monkey paw that messes with people’s wishes. Except it doesn’t mess with Flanders wishes for some reason?
- Dry Turkey Meat (try letting it sit on the counter for a few hours to reeeeally emphasis the dryness)
- Rye Bread
Place bread on plate and assemble in the following order: bread, turkey, tomato, lettuce, mustard, bread.
My biggest issue with this sandwich was the rye bread. I have never really liked it because I find it a bit dense and bitter. In order to achieve dry turkey, I left the turkey cold cuts it to sit out for a few hours, which is questionable from a food safety standard but I suffer for my art. I didn’t get sick but I think that is more a result of all the preservatives in the turkey than anything else. Or maybe I just have a natural immunity to vaguely dangerous cold cuts? Overall, Homer was right to curse the Monkey Paw and the sandwich it created. Next time, it’s zombie turkey or nothing.
Cromulence: 5 Bonerlands out of 10
Monkey’s Paw Turkey Sandwich Recipe From: Treehouse of Horror II (The Simpsons Season 3 – Episode 7)
My guess the reason as to why the monkey’s paw didn’t mess with Flanders’ wishes is that he is pure of heart.
Even if he does stuff in the bible that contradicts the other stuff!
Flanders would probably like the turkey sandwich too, since it could allow him to remain Kosher (just in case!).