Marge vs. Kim Basinger Manwich
Marge: Homer, you haven’t touched your food.
Homer: Oh, when Kim makes a Manwich she uses focaccia bread and would it kill you to put some fennel in it?
– When You Dish Upon a Star
The Simpsons | Season 10 - Episode 5
First, I want to start this post by pointing out that I failed miserably at taking most of the pictures necessary to prove that I made this. You can say “pics or it didn’t happen” and I can appreciate that. But at the same time, I’ve been writing this blog for the past three years and therefore feel that I’ve earned some credibility. The point is that I 100% promise that I made both of these sandwiches dammit… even if I was too hungry and/or lazy (and surly) to take all the necessary pictures along the way. So le’ts move on with the Marge vs. Kim Basinger Manwich competition!
We’ve already covered Hermes’ Manwich (“my manwich!”) before, but I thought it would be fun to discuss Homer’s desire for an “elevated” version of a food, which would of course come from a Hollywood celebrity. This trend has become more and more prevalent recently, because apparently pizza shouldn’t cost $12 it should cost $12000 – which is ridiculous because that Renato Viola Creation pizza from the article doesn’t even sound that good. I don’t want caviar or lobster on my pizza, I want pepperoni and mushrooms and probably a whole lot of grease too because all of those things are delicious on pizza.
According to the internet, Kim Basinger is actually a vegetarian so she probably doesn’t make manwiches at all. But the joke is that Hollywood celebrities are going to elevate a food that doesn’t need to be elevated, because they can. Based on Homer’s comments we know that The Simpsons version of Kim Basinger serves her manwich on focaccia, with a little fennel thrown into the meat. From the episode screenshot we know Marge serves her manwich on a hamburger bun. So let’s pit the two sandwiches against each other and see which is the best!
- Ground Beef
- Manwich Sauce
- Hamburger Bun
Kim Basinger’s Manwich
- Ground Beef
- Manwich Sauce
- Focaccia Bread
For both sandwiches, brown the ground beef in a skillet until cooked through. Add the Manwich sauce and combine. For Marge’s Manwich serve on a hamburger bun. For Kim’s Manwich, add some diced fennel to the meat and serve on focaccia bread. Here is the leftover meat in a glass bowl!
I didn’t want to admit it, but I actually liked Kim’s manwich a little better. It’s the focaccia bread, it did a really good job of absorbing all the meaty, manwichy goodness. The fennel really added nothing to the mix so this was basically a competition between bread and focaccia came out on top. It wasn’t a runaway victory, but if we’re going on taste alone then I’m going to have to give this to Kim.
However, if we’re going on price (and given my rant about ultra expensive pizza earlier you know I need to bring this up) then Marge is the clear winner. Focaccia bread costs way more than bargain variety hamburger buns, not to mention that fresh fennel isn’t that cheap either. I know I could have used dried fennel, but you know those hoity toity medic-alert bracelet wearing types would want the fresh stuff.
So I guess it’s a tie…they’re both losers. Losers! Rip-off! We paid for blood!
Marge’s Manwich 6 Ray Bolgers out of 10
Kim Basinger’s Manwich 6 Royal Crown Colas out of 10
Marge vs. Kim Basinger Manwich Recipe From: When You Dish Upon a Star (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 5)
Whether it be focaccia or sourdough bread, bread is rarely a dealbreaker when it comes to recipes but it can make a recipe slightly better.
Sandwich bread is one of those things where you will really notice if it’s not good because then it affects everything else. Although I still don’t know Kim B’s preference on this one.
I like to think about Marge’s cooking a lot (I have nothing else going on in my life). On one hand, I imagine she would balk at the idea of using a box mix for baking. On the other hand, I can totally see her using shortcuts on a regular basis. Premade sauces, orange processed dairy slices, canned soup for casserole… but we’ve seen her make gourmet feasts from scratch for special occasions, like the radioactive ham that had 10,000 layers of glaze. Marge totally would’ve fallen for the jello craze in the 60s. She would’ve made one of those… Read more »
And her cooking skills vary from episode to episode. Her famous pork chops include marjoram which isn’t a super common spice, but in later episodes oregano confuses her (what the hell?). At least she appears to know what fennel is based on this episode.
I’m sorry but Marge’s cooking has only got two moves-
Shake and bake
Does that mean I should give it my lowest score ever: 7 thumbs up?