Marge: Homer, you haven’t touched your food.
Homer: Oh, when Kim makes a Manwich she uses focaccia bread and would it kill you to put some fennel in it?
– When You Dish Upon a Star

The Simpsons | Season 10 - Episode 5

First, I want to start this post by pointing out that I failed miserably at taking most of the pictures necessary to prove that I made this. You can say “pics or it didn’t happen” and I can appreciate that. But at the same time, I’ve been writing this blog for the past three years and therefore feel that I’ve earned some credibility. The point is that I 100% promise that I made both of these sandwiches dammit… even if I was too hungry and/or lazy (and surly) to take all the necessary pictures along the way. So le’ts move on with the Marge vs. Kim Basinger Manwich competition!

We’ve already covered Hermes’ Manwich (“my manwich!”) before, but I thought it would be fun to discuss Homer’s desire for an “elevated” version of a food, which would of course come from a Hollywood celebrity. This trend has become more and more prevalent recently, because apparently pizza shouldn’t cost $12 it should cost $12000 – which is ridiculous because that Renato Viola Creation pizza from the article doesn’t even sound that good. I don’t want caviar or lobster on my pizza, I want pepperoni and mushrooms and probably a whole lot of grease too because all of those things are delicious on pizza.

According to the internet, Kim Basinger is actually a vegetarian so she probably doesn’t make manwiches at all. But the joke is that Hollywood celebrities are going to elevate a food that doesn’t need to be elevated, because they can. Based on Homer’s comments we know that The Simpsons version of Kim Basinger serves her manwich on focaccia, with a little fennel thrown into the meat. From the episode screenshot we know Marge serves her manwich on a hamburger bun. So let’s pit the two sandwiches against each other and see which is the best!

Ingredients

Marge’s Manwich

• Ground Beef
• Manwich Sauce
• Hamburger Bun

Kim Basinger’s Manwich

• Ground Beef
• Manwich Sauce
• Fennel
• Focaccia Bread

Directions

For both sandwiches, brown the ground beef in a skillet until cooked through. Add the Manwich sauce and combine. For Marge’s Manwich serve on a hamburger bun. For Kim’s Manwich, add some diced fennel to the meat and serve on focaccia bread. Here is the leftover meat in a glass bowl!

I didn’t want to admit it, but I actually liked Kim’s manwich a little better. It’s the focaccia bread, it did a really good job of absorbing all the meaty, manwichy goodness. The fennel really added nothing to the mix so this was basically a competition between bread and focaccia came out on top. It wasn’t a runaway victory, but if we’re going on taste alone then I’m going to have to give this to Kim.

However, if we’re going on price (and given my rant about ultra expensive pizza earlier you know I need to bring this up) then Marge is the clear winner. Focaccia bread costs way more than bargain variety hamburger buns, not to mention that fresh fennel isn’t that cheap either. I know I could have used dried fennel, but you know those hoity toity medic-alert bracelet wearing types would want the fresh stuff.

So I guess it’s a tie…they’re both losers. Losers! Rip-off! We paid for blood!

Cromulence:

Marge’s Manwich 6 Ray Bolgers out of 10
Kim Basinger’s Manwich 6 Royal Crown Colas out of 10

Marge vs. Kim Basinger Manwich Recipe From: When You Dish Upon a Star (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 5)