Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel
Lisa: You’re serving us gruel?
Dolph: Not quite. This is Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel. Nine out of ten orphans can’t tell the difference.
– Kamp Krusty
The Simpsons | Season 4 - Episode 1
Let’s start this post with the Wikipedia definition of gruel: “A type of food consisting of some type of cereal—oat, wheat or rye flour, or rice—boiled in water or milk. It is a thinner version of porridge that may be more often drunk than eaten and may not need to be cooked.” Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel is most definitively not made from scratch; Uncle Blackie would obviously go for the cheapest food available. So the gruel is basically some prepackaged goo that comes out a sickly grey color – appetizing!
I decided to use an equally proceed porridge as my base for this recipe before significantly watering it down. Ready Brek seemed like a good choice since it’s a “super smooth porridge” that you can make just by combining the powder with milk, perfect!
- Ready Brek
Combine Ready Brek with milk and simmer on stove until well mixed.
Remove and add lots of water to make a reasonable appropriation of Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel.
Non-watered down Ready Brek tastes ok, it’s basically just like instant oatmeal. Watering it down makes things taste significantly worse. Unfortunately I didn’t have 10 orphans available to test my version of Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel, so I don’t know if they would be able to tell the difference between this and real gruel. However, if you’ve been starved and forced to do pull-ups for the last month you might have a different opinion on the matter and consider it “sweet, nourishing gruel.” It all depends on the circumstances.
Cromulence: 3 Sadrodin Muraradad’s Yoga Partys out of 10
Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel Recipe From: Kamp Krusty (The Simpsons Season 4 – Episode 1)
I saw the first picture of the bowl of ReadyBrek and thought “hey that’s cheating”, but then I saw the second picture and just felt really sad for your stomach.
I am fully committed to authenticity whenever possible!