Frank Grimes Special Dietetic Lunch

There was a good discussion on the Facebook page surrounding what exactly would go into Frank Grimes Special Dietetic Lunch. Everyone agreed that Grimes likely needed a special dietetic lunch ever since he was involved in that silo explosion. Learning to feel pain again doesn’t usually go well with eating spicy or adventurous foods. Lunch suggestions included:

  • Soy butter and sugar free organic jelly
  • Low carb, gluten free bread.
  • No sugar
  • Something black: Nori? The black egg from Moe’s jar sliced up? Vegemite?


Even though it seems to me that the sandwich Homer is eating is likely some sort of meat and lettuce. But I figured Grimes wouldn’t be able to eat things like mayo (no eggs) or mustard (too spicy) so I decided to keep the sandwich otherwise plain. I also went with the soy butter / organic jelly idea just to try it out. So I made two different sandwiches to see which one would be blander. Both on gluten free bread because you know Grimes is the type to have eaten that before it was trendy.


Sandwich One

  • 2 Slices Udis Gluten Free White Bread
  • Organic Roast Beef
  • Organic Romaine Lettuce

Sandwich Two

  • 2 Slices Udis Gluten Free White Bread
  • NoNuts Peabutter
  • Organic Wild Blueberry Jelly


Sandwich One

Place beef and lettuce on bread and combine bread pieces.


Sandwich Two

Spread NoNuts peabutter and blueberry jelly on bread and combine bread pieces.


I’m going to start by complaining about how dry gluten free bread is. I don’t care what celiac and other gluten intolerant people say, this bread is NOT the same as regular bread and it never will be. I needed a lot of water to go with every bite of these sandwiches.

The meat and lettuce sandwich which, in my option, is closer to what was featured in the episode was pretty tough to get through. As I already said, the bread was really dry and then on top of that I didn’t have any condiments on this sandwich, just meat and lettuce.

The peabutter and blueberry jelly was much more tolerable. Just to be clear, this was PEAbutter, not peanut butter and the spread was literally made from brown peas. It didn’t taste that bad given that it’s meant to be a peanut butter substitute. I would gladly eat an entire jar of the NoNuts before I ever attempt to eat more Udis bread.

Cromulence: Sandwich One 3 Nuclear Panner Plants out of 10 / Sandwich Two 6 Nuclear Panner Plants out of 10

Frank Grimes Special Dietetic Lunch Recipe From: Homer’s Enemy (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 23)






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Evil Homer

Well Homer seemed to like it. He even wanted to eat it out of the trash when Grimey threw it away.

Richard Gadberry

Duff Gardens, hurrah!