Flander’s Family Foodily-Doodily


Family-Foodily

Ned: Why, thank you, Homer. It’s a Popsicle in my favorite flavor: plain.
Dude, Where’s My Ranch? 

The Simpsons | Season 14 - Episode 8

The Flanders Family are well known for their bland, boring food. The plain “Popsicle” was a reader request; but then I started thinking about other Flanders foods. I didn’t think any of these recipes really qualified for their own separate blog entry.  So I decided to group them together into a bunch of Foodily-Doodily. Now let’s take a tour and see how truly boring food is next door from the Simpsons house!

Plain Popsicle

Ingredients

  • Water

Directions

Freeze water in a freezer. If you don’t have a freezer, trying using a cool, wet sack.

Plain-Popsicle

I mean, it’s an ice cube and it tastes like nothing. Would not recommend as a frozen treat.

Plain White Bread with Dippin Water

Ned: Oh, can you believe it? It almost seemed like those folks were making fun of old Steady Neddy.
Maude: Well, you may be a bit cautious but what’s wrong with that? Some people like chunky peanut butter, some like smooth.
Ned: And some people just steer clear of that whole hornet’s nest. I’ll stick with just plain white bread thank you very much, maybe with a…
Maude, Rod and Todd: Glass of water on the side for dippin’!
Viva Ned Flanders (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 10)

Plain-White-Bread-with-Dippin-Water-Screenshot

Ingredients

  • Bread
  • Water

Directions

Pour a glass of water. Dip bread in water and consume before the bread completely evaporates in the water. This step is crucial or the whole thing will turn into cold bread soup.

Plain-Bread-with-Dippin-Water-1024x576

This was not at all pleasant to eat. Given a choice between plain bread or plain bread with water for dippin, I will forgo the water every time.

Angel Food with Chocolate on Top

Flanders: Reverend, care for some of my devil’s food cake?
Lovejoy: Is that really devil’s food?
Flanders: No. It’s angel food with chocolate on top.
Lovejoy: Mmm-hmm. I knew it.
– The Good, the Sad and the Drugly (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 7)

Angel-Food-with-Chocolate-Frosting-Screenshot

Ingredients

  • Angel Food Cake Mix
  • Chocolate Frosting

Directions

Yeah that’s right, I used a boxed cake. You’re technically getting three recipes in one for this blog post. Anyway, follow the box directions and bake the cake. 

Ned’s-Angel-Food-with-Chocolate-on-Top-1-1024x579

Once the cake has cooled, frost with the chocolate frosting.

Ned’s-Angel-Food-with-Chocolate-on-Top-2-1024x579

This was not bad! Although, it’s pretty hard to go wrong with anything that has chocolate frosting on it. Ned may be onto something here.

Overall, my opinion on food from the Flanders Flock has not changed: it’s bland and boring, just like them! The only reason Ned showed up to the church bake sale with an actual cake and not Non-Fat Ice Milk is that instead of making fun of his taste in bland food, they’re making fun of his more recent (by season anyway) religious zealotry. After Maude died things really took a turn for poor Neddy. Apparently now he’s so afraid of his Lord that he can’t even make devil’s food cake? I guess they don’t call it Flanderization for nothing.

Cromulence: Plain Popsicle 2 Simonizes out of 10 / Plain White Bread with Dippin Water 1 Moody Blues out of 10 / Angel Food with Chocolate Frosting 7 Ignoritals out of 10

Flander’s Family Foodily-Doodily Recipes From: Dude, Where’s My Ranch?  (The Simpsons Season 14 – Episode 8) / Viva Ned Flanders (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 10) / The Good, the Sad and the Drugly (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 17)

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Robin Starsfall

What about “nachos Flanders-style” (that’s cucumbers with cottage cheese)?

Eatslikeaduck

Already made: http://eatslikeaduck.com/nachos-flanders-style/
…they were ok, although what do you expect when you combine two already pretty boring foods?

Samuel Chin Orozco

maybe his taste for bland and boring food is maybe for not commit the sin of “Gluttony”

Eatslikeaduck

That would make sense, especially for later season Flanders when he starts to become super religious.

Noah B.

What about plain jelly beans from I’m Goin’ to Praiseland?

Eatslikeaduck

Any religion that embraces carob is not for Eats Like A Duck. Also, is plain even an actual jelly bean flavor?

Fuck Baby Blues

What about wintergreen ice milk?

Eatslikeaduck

Already did it: http://eatslikeaduck.com/flanders-family-non-fat-ice-milk/ Turns out ice milk is actually ok!

thebookcrusader

You should have washed it all down with one of stu…pendous Flanders’s famous mimosas, which contains a little sparkling water and a glass full of regular water. It’s the perfect cocktail to serve at an all-is-forgiven brunch.

Eatslikeaduck

Yes! Although I prefer my mimosas with champagne and a splash of orange juice. Or better yet, just replace the champagne with vodka and hold the orange juice, yum!