Homer: Do you sell toys?
House of Evil Owner: We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt.
Homer: Well, I need something for my son’s birthday.
House of Evil Owner: Perhaps this will please the gentleman. Take this object. But beware, it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Oh, that’s bad.
House of Evil Owner: But it comes with a free frogurt.
Homer: That’s good.
House of Evil Owner: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That’s bad.
House of Evil Owner: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That’s good.
House of Evil Owner: The toppings contain potassium benzoate… That’s bad.
Homer: Can I go now?
– Treehouse of Horror III
The Simpsons | Season 4 - Episode 5
I’ve seen this Simpsons episode many, many times but I never bothered to find out what the potassium benzoate in the Cursed Frogurt actually is. Based on the conversion between Homer and the House of Evil owner, I’m going to guess that potassium benzoate is “bad” – but how bad is it? Apparently, it’s just a preservative used in things like soda, juice, and salad dressings. Depending on who you ask, potassium benzoate is not that bad to very bad although I usually take any health recommendations from the government with some skepticism. But that House of Evil guy, he seems pretty trustworthy in comparison, don’t you think?
I don’t have an ice cream maker, but that wasn’t going to stop me from making frozen yogurt. But I did spend the money on the good stuff and got the high-quality Greek yogurt. I decided to make a simple vanilla flavored frogurt. But how exactly was I supposed to make it cursed?
- 1 cup Greek Yogurt
- 2 tablespoons Honey
- 1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract
- Chocolate Chips
*I checked the label and these toppings do NOT contain potassium benzoate. Sorry.
Combine yogurt with honey and vanilla extract. Whisk to combine and freeze for at least one hour. After removing from the freezer, whisk again to remove any ice crystals and serve with your choice of toppings.
Draw a pentagram on your floor and invoke a chant to Satan, asking that a curse be placed on the yogurt. Sprinkle with your choice of toppings. Enjoy!
That goat legged fellow, I liked the cut of his jib. He was able to successful place a curse on my yogurt and didn’t even ask me for anything in return! Anyway, the Cursed Frogurt was pretty tasty, still retaining some of the sour taste but that’s where the toppings come in. As I already mentioned, the toppings did not contain potassium benzoate and when I asked Satan about that he told me he was currently on a “juice cleanse” and didn’t want anything to do with that. Fine, whatever.
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Cursed Frogurt Recipe From: Treehouse of Horror III (The Simpsons Season 4 – Episode 5)