Creamed Eels, Corn Nog and Wadded Beef

As mentioned in my previous post, now that we’re all isolated and weird I am going to have to start making some Imagination Recipes. And to me, the perfect place to start is with those scant few Kwik-E-Mart items available to Marge and Lisa during The Simpsons episode Hurricane Neddy. For reference those items are: Creamed Eels, Corn Nog and Wadded Beef. I’m going to imagine how you could go about making each item, without actually making them. You don’t like it? Send me some fresh eel meat and I’ll see what I can do.

Creamed Eels

Ingredients

• One eel, skinned and deboned (do you find something funny about the word deboned?)
• 1/2 onion
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 3/4 cup milk
• Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions

Combine onion and butter and cook over medium heat until the onion is translucent, about 5 minutes. Add chopped eel and mix well. Add in milk and cream. Stir over medium heat until mixture comes to a gentle boil and thickens, about 5-10 minutes, stirring constantly. Season with salt and pepper. Allow to cool before eating. Or throw it away, your call.

Corn Nog

Ingredients

• 1 cups of sweet corn (peaches and cream)
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 cups whole milk
• 2 tablespoons vanilla extract
• 1 cups heavy whipping cream

Instructions

In a saucepan, add 1 (of 2) cups of milk and sugar and warm over low heat, do NOT boil. While the milk warms, place corn and remaining cup of milk into a blender. Blend until a smooth puree is achieved. Add corn mixture to the warmed milk and sugar and bring up to temperature and simmer for around 15 minutes. Allow mixture to cool and then add vanilla extract. Beat heavy whipping cream until soft peaks form. Once the corn milk is fully cooled, whisk in the whipping cream until just combined. Do not over beat this mixture. Serve immediately. Or throw at someone who isn’t social distancing.

Wadded Beef

Ingredients

• Various cuts of beef (I guess?)

Instructions

Wad various beef cuts together into a mixture that will fit tightly inside of a can. Once it’s something a cow would enjoy, I guess that means it’s ready. Don’t actually put this in a can. Also, probably best not to actually put this in your mouth.

And, if you don’t like any of the recipes provided (and really, why wouldn’t you like the suggestion for creamed eels??) you can always count on…