Apu: What will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies?
Homer: Uh… don’t you have anything healthy here?
– King of the Hill

The Simpsons | Season 9 - Episode 23

2021 is already off to a great start and so is your new healthy eating plan! Ok, now that the three people who have managed to somehow not eat themselves to sleep aren’t paying attention, let’s talk stress eating. I don’t have much of a sweet tooth; but if you want to eat your anxiety away, you could do worse than a bucket of ice cream covered with miniature pies.

Now, I don’t own a bucket. And it’s definitely not because that bucket is currently stuck on my head from a prank gone wrong. But even if I did own a bucket, the amount of ice cream needed to fill one is a lot for one person to eat. And that’s not even factoring in the miniature pies. Normally I would make up some kind of excuse with my friends. “Oh, it’s an ice cream and miniature pie party to honor my Welsh heritage… Yes, that should stick.” But I can’t do that right now and so I made a smaller version of the bucket size version. Delio ag ef.

Ingredients

• Chocolate ice cream
• Miniature pies

Directions

Scoop ice cream into a bowl (or bucket if you insist on being authentic and also crazy). Place miniature pies on top of ice cream. Consume, ideally following your next midnight jog around the neighborhood.

You might notice that despite this being a smaller, non-bucket version of this dessert, the pies were not any more miniature. In fact, they remained the same size! So I think, as a ratio, that means I should have had more ice cream and smaller pies? I’m not entirely sure since, in case it wasn’t obvious already, the pies are store bought. Ironically I actually made the chocolate ice cream from scratch, but society is crumbling around us so I figured why add to everyone’s worrying right now. Let’s just forget our troubles with a big bucket of ice cream covered in miniature pies!

Cromulence: 8 Break-neck Speeds out of 10

Bucket of Ice Cream Covered with Miniature Pies from: The Simpsons (Season 9 – Episode 23)