Cranberry Sauce a la Bart

Marge: Honey, please. You’re in the way.
Bart: Can’t I help you mom?
Marge: Well, ok. Let’s see. Can you do the cranberry sauce.
Bart: Yeah. Where is it?
Marge: The can is in the cupboard on the bottom shelf.
Bart: Here?
Marge: No, no, no. The other shelf.
Bart: Got it. Now what?
Marge: Open the can.
Bart: No problemo. Where’s the can opener?
Marge: It’s in the second drawer from the right. No, no, no, no. The other one.
Bart: Oh! I gotcha. It’s broken, Mom. Mom, it’s broken. Mom-it’s-brok-en, Mom-it’s-brok-en, Mom-it’s-brok-en, Mom-it’s-brok-en….
Marge: I don’t think that it’s broken honey. Here, let me try. Here you go.
Bart: Ah, cranberry sauce a la Bart.
Marge: Just stick it in the refrigerator when you’re done Bart. Bart?
– Bart vs. Thanksgiving

The Simpsons | Season 2 - Episode 7

I’ll admit, recreating the Cranberry Sauce a la Bart recipe is a little lazy. But at the same time I so rarely get to feature Bart related recipes, so I couldn’t resist. Plus, sometimes I’m a little lazy too. And surly. And sometimes I’m lazy AND surly, what’s it to you?


  • Can of cranberry sauce – any brand will do. I recommend using the cheapest variety because it’s cranberry sauce and literally two people like it at any given turkey dinner meal.


Inspect can opener to ensure it is not, in fact, broken. Open the can and place cranberry sauce inside a dish. Walk away while someone else puts the cranberry sauce in the fridge for you.


It seems like people either need cranberry sauce for their turkey or they don’t. I don’t and I’m ok with that. At the same time, I don’t dislike it but it does rank pretty low on my “sauce scale”. So let’s split this one down the middle and call it a day, I’m sleepy from all the turkey.

Cromulence: 5 Marjory Stoneman Douglas’ out of 10

Cranberry Sauce á la Bart Recipe From: Bart vs. Thanksgiving (The Simpsons Season 2 – Episode 7)

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