A White Wine Spritzer…Spritzer…Spritzer


white-wine-spritzer-screenshot

Amber: More libations, my imperial conqueror?
Homer: Huh?
Ginger: More booze!
Homer: Oh, yeah. Two more of these, please. And for you, Ned?
Ned: I’ll have a Shirley… no, a Virgin…no! Make it a children’s…Oh, what the heck, you only live once. Give me a white wine spritzer…spritzer…spritzer…
– Viva Ned Flanders

The Simpsons | Season 10 - Episode 10

White wine spritzers are considered a summer cocktail; the combination of the soda and chilled wine make it good for sipping outdoors. I suppose it could also be considered a “girly” drink, which is probably why Ned is ordering one. Although, based on the cup, straws, and little umbrella in Homer’s drink, I’m thinking his drink is pretty “girly” as well. Either way, Ned orders A White Wine Spritzer…Spritzer…Spritzer and only good decisions follow that one.

White-Wine-Spritzer-Screenshot-1

No matter how girly a drink is, if you have too much alcohol in your system you have the potential to end up with a pounding headache and a mouth that tastes like vomit. And possibly a second spouse. You know, as you do when you go to Las Vegas. Or at least the Las Vegas that is represented in television and movies. In my experience, Las Vegas is a place where people gamble and smoke a lot.

Ingredients

  • White Wine
  • Club Soda

Directions

Mix a ratio of 2:1 chilled white wine to club soda.

White-Wine-Spritzer

This is probably the easiest (or second easiest maybe) drink I’ve ever made outside of that gasoline I had that one time, MOTHER! While I do enjoy white wine, I don’t really care for club soda. Quite frankly, I don’t understand the point of this drink. If you want fizzy wine then just buy sparkling wine and then you aren’t diluting your precious, precious alcohol.

Cromulence: 3 Full Waffle Bar Privileges out of 10

A White Wine Spritzer…Spritzer…Spritzer Recipe From: Viva Ned Flanders (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 10)

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