Cartoon Cuisine

SBLOUNSKCHED-Bar-Screenshot

SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar from Homestar Runner

Ah, the early 2000s when flash animation was rampant across the internet, AOL instant messenger was something people actually used, and Facebook only existed for a select few college students. As fascinating as AOL and old-timey Facebook are, today I want to focus on one of my personal favourite flash animation series: Homestar Runner, specifically Strong Bad, even more specifically the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar.

If you’re not familiar with Strong Bad, the premise for each episode was that he would respond to emails and, well, that was pretty much it. Usually the video was funny or at least vaguely amusing. Hey, what more can you expect from less than five minutes of content at a time?

In Email #149 he’s asked “are you famous, popular, and chick-magnet enough to have a candy product.” With the answer, of course, being yes. Now some aspects of creating the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar seemed a little above my cooking knowledge. Here’s the official ingredient list:

  • Gaseous cloud of marshmallow vapor
  • Globules of semi-solid licorice colloid
  • Channel of liquid nougat
  • Crispety cookety log
  • Rich, creamy pepperoni
  • Tiny bowls of crispy puffed rice cereal (with tiny spoons)
  • Boring Brown Chocolate (BBC)

And here’s what I actually used…

Ingredients

  • Marshmallows (solid, not vapor)
  • Black licorice (solid, not colloid)
  • Nougat (solid, not liquid)
  • Cookie dough
  • Rich, creamy pepperoni
  • Puffed rice cereal (no tiny bowls or spoons)
  • Boring Brown Chocolate

Directions

Smush marshmallow and black licorice together. Next, wrap with soft nougat and then wrap that with cookie dough. Place rich, creamy pepperoni on top. Sprinkle puffed rice cereal on top of the pepperoni. Finally, coat everything with boring brown chocolate.

SBLOUNSKCHED-Bar

Oh yes, I also forgot to mention that I wouldn’t be shaping this thing into pants. It was difficult enough just getting all the components to stay together in some kind of log shape. I have no idea how I would have made this monstrosity look like pants on top of that. 

SBLOUNSKCHED-Bar-Cross-Section

Anyway, the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar tasted…weird. I’m sure it won’t surprise you to know that the pepperoni was what really made this extra special. And not in a good way. I love pepperoni and I love weird candy all mashed together. I’m not really a fan of combining those things and then covering them with chocolate.

Cromulence: 5 YSK’s Turned Out Alright out of 10

SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar from: Homestar Runner – Strong Bad Email #149: Candy Product

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20 Responses to “SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar from Homestar Runner”

  1. Prince Perot Avatar
    Prince Perot

    Awww bless your heart, you didn’t HAVE to go the the extra mile and use actual pepperoni haha! One trick that my family used to use for pizza-shaped cookie cakes is to cut out little circles or red Fruit Roll-Up. I’m not sure that would’ve made this bar GOOD, but I can only imagine leagues better than having to combine actual beef with various sweets.

    Reply
    1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
      Eats Like A Duck

      It’s true. While I am a fan of salty sweet foods (like Chicago mix popcorn) this is a bit too extreme even for me. And also now I’m craving a Fruit Roll-Up. I would always just ball up the whole thing and eat it over the next 10 minutes or so because I have no self control.

      Reply
  2. Jesse Avatar
    Jesse

    How about Bronco Trolleys?
    http://www.hrwiki.org/wiki/Bronco_Trolleys

    Probably too easy for your site, but it would taste good.

    Reply
    1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
      Eats Like A Duck

      Do I have to eat the orange rind too, or just the orange? Also, how many do I have to eat before I officially become fat?

      Reply
      1. Jesse Avatar
        Jesse

        It takes 16 to get fat, and I think you eat the orange rind but I’m not sure.

        Reply
        1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
          Eats Like A Duck

          Duly noted, eat 16 orange slices = get fat.

          Reply
  3. Ryan Avatar
    Ryan

    Did you know Strong Bad wrote a children’s book? It is pretty good. Also, WELCOME BACK!

    Reply
    1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
      Eats Like A Duck

      Yes! It was this book that taught me the important lesson: “some people wears glasses” – just like me!

      Reply
    2. sbu Avatar
      sbu

      WECLOME* BACK!

      Reply
  4. Glenn S. Avatar
    Glenn S.

    No pictures of your completed work? I have to say that’s a bit disappointing.
    Anyways. Holy hell yes! Homestarrunner was the best during those middle and high school years of mine and I’m happy that you’re doing stuff for that here.
    And while I understand the not being able to shape it into pants and implement a built in bite out of them for security (who would want to steal a half eaten pair of choco pants) It sucks that you made it into a log shape or as Strong Bad would put it “piece of crap shape” (talkin bout you Baby Ruth). I mean did shaping it into a patty (ala Peppermint Patty) not work out or something.
    So what’s gonna be next on the Homestarrunner chopping block? Suudsu, Bronco Trollies, the Homestar Jr., Cheatcakes? Though I wouldn’t ask you to make Grumblecakes, only liars and thieves eat Grumblecakes and those people go to prison (just ask The Cheat). Your not a liar or a thief are you, cuz I’d hate to see you go to prison.

    Reply
    1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
      Eats Like A Duck

      Oh crap! I totally forgot to include pictures! Those are now include to prove that I am not, in fact, a liar or a thief. As for my next Strong Bad recipe, maybe Suudsu? But then I’d have to buy skim milk and that’s pretty much forbidden in my house so I don’t know.

      Reply
      1. Glenn S. Avatar
        Glenn S.

        Oh lord those pictures are making my “piece of crap shape” point for me. I mean, I mean my god that looks disgusting.
        And one more thing. I hope you don’t end up going mad with power at some point and try to eat The Chort.

        Reply
  5. Matthew Morelli Avatar
    Matthew Morelli

    Do something from SpongeBob next

    Reply
    1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
      Eats Like A Duck

      I realize the Krabby Patty is the obvious option here. But I would rather try something a little more obscure if you’ve got a suggestion. Probably something kelp related if anything…

      Reply
      1. Ryan Avatar
        Ryan

        basically anything from this episode: SpongeBob SquarePants S11 E51 – E52 – The Night Patty

        Reply
        1. Matthew Morelli Avatar
          Matthew Morelli

          btw its not spongebob but one persistent suggestion from someone I show this blog to is the car panini from the Family Guy episode Saturated Fat Guy

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtAW3SC5BLU

          Reply
          1. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
            Eats Like A Duck

            Oh yes, I am familiar. You can expect this as an early “holiday gift” so keep an eye out for that!

        2. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
          Eats Like A Duck

          Hmmm, but how to create a grey burger without it tasting totally like a burnt grill?

          Reply
          1. Squacoon Avatar
            Squacoon

            Boil it

          2. Eats Like A Duck Avatar
            Eats Like A Duck

            Oh dear, what a waste of delicious, delicious beef…but I suppose I must.

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