Slim Jim Fizz from The Venture Bros


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Dr. Venture: Soooo, what do you say?
Billy: Count us in!
White: I don’t think so.
Billy and White (together): What?!?
Dr. Venture: Why don’t you think it over while I refresh your doctails? Billy, you had the hot mummy, right? White, another slim jim fizz?
White: Uh, still working on my first.
– The Venture Brothers (Spanakopita!)

 

Cartoon Network | Season 5 - Episode 4

New Year’s Eve is a time to enjoy effervescent drinks as you celebrate the past year and bring on the next one. The classic is to drink champagne (or a sparkling wine because really who can tell the difference?) at midnight. But to celebrate a truly terrible year, it seems appropriate to toast with a truly terrible drink: the Slim Jim Fizz.

Unlike another doctail I’ve made, this beverage is almost drinkable since, according to the Wiki, it’s just a sloe gin fizz, with a Slim Jim added as a garnish. That actually makes this beverage fairly straightforward to make except that finding sloe gin where I live is surprisingly difficult. So I used regular gin. Yes, I KNOW the cocktail is based on a sloe gin fizz but I couldn’t find any and this booze already sounds kind of gross. You know what other gross thing I drank instead? An alcoholic beverage with some cured meat in it, ok?

Also, when looking at the episode the doctail appears clear in color. You know what type of alcohol is traditionally clear in color? Gin. Also, also grapefruit juice isn’t clear in color either. Plus I didn’t see any type of frothy top (from an egg white) so I didn’t do that either since it’s apparently “optional”. Basically I made a gin rickey and then threw in the meat garnish. However, it wasn’t Slim Jim brand jerky because I’m still mad at Macho Man Randy Savage. He knows what he did.

Ingredients

  • 1 ounce Gin
  • 1 ounce Simple syrup
  • 4 ounces carbonated water
  • 1 stick store brand beef jerky / meat stick

Directions

Put the meat stick into the glass first, followed by ice. If you put the ice in first, it might be difficult to get the meat stick into the glass. Next, pour 1 ounce each of gin and simple syrup into the glass and top with carbonated water.

Slim-Jim-Fizz

I didn’t really think this through when I made the drink; but the beef jerky I had available was garlic flavored. Like, strong enough garlic that I could smell it as soon as I opened the package. This naturally had a negative impact on the doctail overall. That’s not to say that the drink would have been any better if it was plain beef jerky, but it might have helped. Here’s to 2021!

Cromulence: 2 Pei Wies out of 10

Slim Jim Fizz from: The Venture Brothers (Season 5 – Episode 4)

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