Marge: Urchins! They took my cupcakes!
Patrick Farrelly: All right, you unwanted miracles, give back the lady’s cupcakes. You don’t have the teeth for it.
Urchin: Aye, but we could gum the frosting.
Patrick Farrelly: Well, if it’s good gumming you’re after, wouldn’t you rather have this lovely cabbage? Here you go, ma’am. Not a sprinkle nor jimmy askew.
Marge: Thank you so much…
Patrick Farrelly: Mr Patrick Farrelly at your service.
Marge: Marge Simpson. Well, Mr. Farrelly, the least I could do is offer you a cupcake.
Patrick Farrelly: Mmm. Light, moist, and such a marvelous shape retention. Marge, I own a small bakery. Will you bake for me?
Marge: Me? A professional baker’s employee? Imagine how different my life would be.
– Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes

The Simpsons | Season 20 - Episode 1

These Shamrock Cupcakes seemed pretty straightforward to me: basic vanilla cupcakes with shamrock frosting. But it’s a slippery slope, going from a wholesome amateur baker to a professional erotic baker. And so I had to be extra careful when baking and then frosting the cupcakes. At times, I was tempted to just gum on a cabbage to keep myself from temptation. I could have unwittingly started making freshly frosted ass cake while I was innocently drinking a belt of scotch at 9 in the morning. Well, it IS St. Patrick’s Day after all, plus I haven’t slept in days.

Ingredients

Cupcakes

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 2 large eggs
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup melted butter
• 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
• 1/2 cup milk

Frosting

• 1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

Cupcakes

Preheat oven to 350Fe. Combine flour and baking powder in a bowl and set aside. Beat eggs on medium speed for several minutes and then add sugar and vanilla extract. Next, add butter and then milk. Slowly add dry ingredients to wet until well combined. Pour batter into lined cupcake tray and bake for 18-20 minutes. 

Frosting

In a stand mixer slowly whip together butter and confectioners sugar for several minutes. Add vanilla extract and continue whipping for another minute. Add green food coloring to achieve shamrock green color.

As I’ve proven in previous entries, cake decorating is not my strongest baking skill. Still, I managed to avoid making any lewd cakes while getting drunk, while also not horribly burning myself on the oven. And now what you all came here for, hardcore Erotic Cakes! Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

Cromulence: 7 Day old wangs out of 10

Marge’s Shamrock Cupcakes Recipe From: Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 1)